every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
