Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
