when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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