8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
