there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
