i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
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You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
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I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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