you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
