so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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