dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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