All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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