I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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