you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
