I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize