Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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