it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
