Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
