he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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