So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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