Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
