can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
