I bet he comes in French.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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