Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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