I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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