New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
