lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Are we still banned from the library?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize