oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
