it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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