You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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