I feel great
I just peed on a car
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize