how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
