So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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