Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
