I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
