brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
