rhymes with "ouble enetration"
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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