I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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