Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize