her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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