YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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