What did we do last night that was yellow?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Randomize
