Sry I called you an 8
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
