So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
