i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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