I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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