That's intense
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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