You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Randomize
