there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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