Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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