Christians are straight up FREAKS
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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