so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
