do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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