Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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