I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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