dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
