Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize