Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize