Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Randomize
