guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
